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Are Parent The Best Teacher Essay

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TOEFL® essay : why people attend university or college | Should students live in another country for a short time. Please rate.

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#1 (permalink) Sun Nov 24, 2013 22:22 pm   TOEFL essay : are parents the best teachers? 

thank you for time you given me, I wrote it today and I will have exam on 21 DEC, what is your opinion about my writing? could I achieve 28 in writing? thank you so much

Some people believed that the best teachers in the one’s life are our teachers which give us the newest and update knowledge and advice to us, while others have a opposite view about this and they said the best teachers in our life are our parents. In what follows, all reasons posited by that both group will be discussed and then my view will be delineated.
People who said best teachers are our teachers, presents three reasons to support their claim, first, our parents are very biased by their love and cloud not guide us properly. Second, by getting older parents become more conservative and they are not always objective towards fashion and new things, in the other words, parents are not professional teachers. Third, the children unconsciously copies their parent’s behavior and patterns. May be they are not suitable and proper pattern to copy from.
When the children become growing, especially in teenage, they don’t accept any advice from parents. In this situation the teachers are best one.
Other people have different opinions about this topic. They strongly believed that the best teachers we have are our parents. They poised some reasons which are states as follows. First, parents know us very well, they teach us to speak, to walk, and they know our merit and demerits. Second, parents possessed many valuable experiences of life which can help children in many obstacles and problems. Thirds, parents teach every thing to their children without reservation.
In my point of view, parents are the best teachers during every one’s life. They are the first persons who help us to speak, to walk. They affect our life via their behaviors and morals. They prepare us to appear better to society. Although teachers give us board knowledge, their views and approaches towards us are very limited. Parents have not any limitations to teach their children. They do everything for us without any reservation and expectation, because they love us for ourselves.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a student and a university advisor
Eliroz
New Member


Joined: 01 Mar 2013
Posts: 4

#2 (permalink) Mon Nov 25, 2013 16:25 pm   Re: TOEFL essay : are parents the best teachers? 

Hi Eliroz, I thought your essay was pretty good, though not quite up the a 28. You had a good overall structure, but your introduction was pretty pedestrian. Your body paragraphs were better, but were just lists of reasons without many examples. I realize this type of prompt is more difficult because you have to address both sides, but some specific examples would be better. I did like your conclusion though. Your writing was generally clear, but you had a lot of minor errors in grammar, verb tense, and word choice. Overall, I would probably rate this about 23-24 on a scale of 30. So you have some work to do, but you still have a little time to try to correct your errors.

Eliroz wrote:
thank you for time you given me, I wrote it today and I will have exam on 21 DEC, what is your opinion about my writing? could I achieve 28 in writing? thank you so much

Some people [believe] that the best teachers in the one’s life are our [school] teachers[,who] give us the newest and [up-to-date] knowledge and advice to us, while others have a[n ] opposite view about this and they sa[y ] the best teachers in our life are our parents. In what follows, all reasons posited by both group[s ] will be discussed and then my view will be delineated. {this introduction is not very creative - just the bare bones}
People who sa[y ] best teachers are our teachers, [present] three reasons to support their claim[;] first, our parents are very biased by their love and [can] not guide us properly. Second, by getting{"when they get older," is better} older parents become more conservative and they are not always objective towards fashion and new [trends] {avoid using "things" in an essay}, {new sentence] in other words, parents are not professional teachers. Third, the children unconsciously [copy] their parent[s'] behavior and patterns [, even when] they are not suitable and proper pattern to copy from.
When the children become [more mature] , especially in teenage{"especially in their teenage years" or "especially as teenagers"} , they [often] {avoid exaggerations} don’t {avoid contractions} accept any advice from [their] parents. In this situation the teachers are best one[s ].{this thought seems unfinished - best ones to do what?}
Other people have different opinions about this topic. They strongly believ[e ] that the best teachers we have are our parents. They [pose] {but you "pose" a question - maybe "provide"| some reasons which are state[d ] as follows.{this sentence is not very elegant} First, parents know us very well[;] they teach us to speak, to walk, and they know our merit[s ] and demerits.{"demerits" sounds a little odd - maybe "shortcomings"} Second, parents possess many valuable experiences of life[,] which can help children [overcome] many obstacles and problems. Third[ly], parents teach every thing{one word} to their children without reservation. {this idea is a little vague to me - what do you mean by "everything without reservation"?}
In my point of view, parents are the best teachers during every one’s{one word} life. They are the first persons who help us to speak [and] to walk. They affect our life via their behaviors and morals. They prepare us to appear {"to appear" sounds a little odd here, like they are not really better, but only look that way} better to society. Although teachers give us [broad] knowledge, their views and approaches towards us are very limited. Parents [do] have not any limitations to teach their children. {well, most parents are not experts in calculus or organic chemistry ;) } They do everything for us without any reservation and expectation, because they love us for ourselves.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a student and a university advisor
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 8641
Location: Nashville TN, USA
#3 (permalink) Mon Nov 25, 2013 20:21 pm   thank you : TOEFL essay : are parents the best teachers? 

Hi Luschen, thank you so much for your nice comment. I try as much as I can to improve my writing
Eliroz
New Member


Joined: 01 Mar 2013
Posts: 4

TOEFL® essay : why people attend university or college | Should students live in another country for a short time. Please rate.
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My parents are the best teacher

All the people have teacher in their lives. I have first teacher in my live. My teacher in my live are my parents. The first teacher in our live and they also responsibility for me. So I choose agree the statement, my parents are the best teacher in my live.

Firstly, I would say that parents are my first teacher because they teach me about walk, speak, healthy, spelling and etc. without my parents, I cannot know about speak, spelling, and they with great patience teach me and give me knowledge for join in the world. They give the best for me and then parents are the best teacher because they wish their children can success. And they also give education about religion.

Secondly, beside my parents are my first teacher in my live, my parents give me their responsibility, they very attention about my school it is because with school I can know about education. In the world education is very important. My parents give me facility for school like motorcycle, laptop and the rest. They very attention to me.

Thirdly, my parents also give me money, they always give me money because I very need money, without money I cannot buy something. As well as money very important in the world but my parents give money not for danger or drugs. They always give something that the best for me, they want see their children success.

To sum up. In my opinion, my parents are the best for me because they always give me the best thing, education for join in the world and they responsibility for me. They always attention in my live and my parents is one of in my live.